Borderline Personality Disorder · Chronic back pain · Depression · Dissociative Identity Disorder

Journal entry 26.06.17

Today has been nothing but shit, stupid me had to open my mouth this morning and start the day shit.
Went to the doctors to get the medical certificate for Centrelink, to find out that the stupid hospital has fucked up and now confused me tremendously, here we were making somewhat progress now to start from the fucking beginning. 
Been trying to get in contact with my psychologist but to no avail, she isn’t available.

I’m so confused and now I feel like Adam has given up on me, I know he hasn’t but it feels that way, the fact that the hospital has done what they’ve done, he is now most likely thinking I’m nothing but a lying manipulative Asshole. But I’m not, I would never do that, not in a million years, I can’t do this any more. I’m on the verge of just giving it up, shit I’m contemplating on just…. ugh I don’t even know, I need to talk to my psychologist ASAP. This is doing my head in!!
Adam wants nothing to do with me today and I mean I don’t blame him to be honest, I’m nothing but a fuck up, I’m nothing but a screw up, nothing but a failure, nothing but a disappointment, nothing but a……. 😑.
I should NEVER even been born, maybe then none of this would be happening.

Maybe I should just pack my shit and go to the streets, where I belong, because I clearly can’t even do ONE FUCKING THING RIGHT ANYWAYS.

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